


The Tangled Lives We Lead

by SpookyLord



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Coma, Domestic Fluff, Emotionally Repressed, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Patch 4.5: A Requiem For Heroes Spoilers, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Polyamory, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues, Smut, Trans Male Character, Trans Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Trauma, everyone's bi here, no beta we die like men, this catboy has depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:27:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29036997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyLord/pseuds/SpookyLord
Summary: In someone's life, there are a thousand stories to tell, a thousand connections made. Eventually, even the Warrior of Light becomes simply a combination of them all.--Collection of oneshots involving my WoL and my OCs. Takes place in An Indomitable Will's universe, unless otherwise stated. Rating refers to the highest rated story, not all will be the same.
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Original Character(s), Original Character(s)/Original Character(s), Sidurgu Orl/Original Character(s), Sidurgu Orl/Warrior of Light, Warrior of Light/Thancred Waters, Y'shtola Rhul/Original Character(s), Y'shtola Rhul/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Kudos: 4





	1. Table of Contents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings and spoiler warnings, for your avoiding ease.

Contents

1\. Reception and Loss-Spoilers up to Patch 4.56, Rated **T**

2\. A Story for Rielle-Minor DRK Heavensward questline spoilers, Rated **G**

3\. Inspired Fantasies-5.0 Spoilers, Rated **E** for smut. 


	2. Reception and Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Persef's reactions to his loved ones being called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for like....everything that comes with calling, such as going into a fucking coma, survivor's guilt, Persef having poor mental health. He also realizes he's in love with Thancred here.

When Thancred collapsed during the Alliance meeting, Persef felt his heart sink in his chest. Some part of him suspected Ascian involvement, however, how would they have known that the Alliance had been discussing ways to invalidate their cause in Garlemald at that precise moment? In that moment, Persef realized how much he truly did rely on Thancred and his being there.

When Kan-E-Senna relayed to him Thancred's condition, Persef knew it had to be his own fault, and so he was going to fix it and save Thancred. This would have been his resolve even if Persef hadn't realized he was in love with Thancred in that moment of loss.

* * *

When Urianger and Y'shtola collapsed, Persef at least knew what was happening this time. That did not stop him from feeling utterly useless due to his inability to stop it. Hearing Alisaie's despair nearly shattered his heart, and so Persef resolved to be the older brother she desperately needed in this time. He could not stop the calling, but he could help those left behind.

Once their bodies were where they could be safely cared for, only one thought could get through Persef's mind.

"How am I going to tell Adya about this?"

* * *

When Persef saw Alphinaud unconscious, carried by the man from the repelled Garlean ship, only a small part of him even thought of it being due to the elezen being called. The sound of Gaius's voice nearly made Persef miss him explaining that Alphinaud had, indeed, been called. Of course, there was decent chunk of his mind also dedicated to worrying about Alisaie, as her reaction, while understandable, made him instinctively want to help her. Even his instinctual mistrust of Gaius couldn't stop him from having his heart drop in his chest at the sight of Alphinaud so still, however. As Gaius explained his current cause and what he knew, Persef couldn't help but be glad N'adya was not there to see them taking even a bit amicably with the former legatus. Ultimately, Persef decided to let Gaius be, at least while their goals remained the same. 

Having dealt with Gaius, that left only thoughts of Alphinaud, and Persef felt like he was going to break. He viewed Alphinaud as his brother as much as he did his biological brothers, and yet fate did not see fit to spare even him of this malady. But Persef kept a brave face as always, since for however much it hurt him, it hurt Alisaie even more. 

* * *

When Alisaie collapsed, despite reaching for her to try to keep her safe, some part of Persef hoped it was from some unseen wound. Once Persef examined her, he knew it was as he thought, and she was not injured, only called. Fate would not even allow him to protect her after he'd promised not to leave her. Persef was nearly overwhelmed with the unfairness of it all, and bit his lip hard enough to bleed to prevent himself from crying. N'adya was the one to carry Alisaie to the safety of camp, and Persef didn't even have it in him to pretend he could help. 

Persef knew people would stop nearly-dying if he could just figure out what "throw wide the gates" meant and do it. He had to figure it out, he just had to, because he was running out of emotional capacity to lose people. 

* * *

When N'adya collapsed Persef could hardly move to get to her. Zenos was approaching him Persef was battle weary, and he could hardly stand. As she fell while the world shifted under the effects of being called, Persef simultaneously despaired that N'adya had gotten caught in that same crossfire and thanked the Twelve that, even though he had witnessed his beloved fall just before, Zenos's blade meant he would see no others nearly-die because of his failure. 

He was almost disappointed when he going himself in the presence of the Crystal Exarch instead of the Twelve. 

* * *

When Morrigan collapsed, Persef was not there. He was only informed of her being called when he awoke in Ishgard. As much as he had been prepared to die, fate had decided otherwise, and now he knew what he needed to do. Persef was going to save his friends and prevent another calamity, and he knew how to do it now. 

At the Forgotten Knight, Persef only had one thing to say to Sidurgu before he went to Mor Dhona. 

"I'm going to bring her back."


	3. A Story for Rielle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rielle has questions, and Morrigan has ways of answering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morrigan's backstory time. Content warning for death of a loved one, grief, self depreciation, Viera gendered bullshit.

Rielle sat in front of Morrigan, the Viera brushing out the young girl's hair in preparation for bed. Their routine had leveled out somewhere since the death of Rielle's "mother", Morrigan hesitated to even call her such, and so scenes like this were relatively common. What was not common was the idea Rielle posed. 

"Sid says you think I'm braver than you." She said, somewhere between a statement and a question. 

"In many ways, you are." Morrigan replied, and sighed when Rielle turned her head to look at her inquisitively. "Let me tell you a story. In a far away place called Golmore, there was a village called Hoffel." 

Morrigan paused to steady herself before continuing. "In Hoffel, there lived a child named Slejsa, and her best friend Arnar. The two of them were nigh inseparable, Slejsa believing she would one day marry Arnar, as children sometimes do. The years went by, and they stayed just as close, and soon they reached maturity. However, puberty revealed that, while Slejsa was a woman, Arnar was a man."

"Why didn't they know sooner?" Rielle asked, and Morrigan looked confused before laughing a little. 

"Right, right, this is a Viera story, sometimes I forget the differences. You can't tell a Viera's sex until they mature." Morrigan answered, mentally rearranging her script before continuing. "This saddened the two of them, as Viera tradition demanded that men were not allowed to live in the village." 

"Why not?" Rielle asked. 

"I wish I knew, little bird. Slejsa and Arnar made the most of the time they had left, as the next time the grown men returned to the village, they would take Arnar into the woods, spending his life in the forest." Morrigan set aside the brush, both due to being finished brushing Rielle's hair, and because her hands were shaking too hard to continue. "And one day, they came and took the waiting men, as the female leaders dictated, tradition unchanged for centuries. Slejsa never told Arnar that she had fallen in love with him, as she was afraid of both rejection and Arnar being distracted in such a dangerous place."

"Did Arnar feel the same?" Rielle asked, content to sit in front of Morrigan and maintain the closeness. 

"No one knows. The years passed, and Slejsa never stopped thinking about Arnar. Every four years, the men returned to the village to pick up the newly matured men, as well as mate." Morrigan laughed a little at the surprised noise Rielle made at the mention of mating. She knew it was likely partially due to her age, but Morrigan wasn't sure she'd ever get used to Ishgardian senses of privacy. "During these visits, Slejsa and Arnar were still nigh inseparable. They never lost that closeness, catching up on four years of events and falling into the same routine. They both joked about running away together, but neither was willing to forsake the first or the code Viera live by. 

"Then, one day, Slejsa was out hunting and gathering items for the village when she saw a sight which chilled her blood. There, Arnar laid dead surrounded by his companions and even a newly-matured man she had trained in the sword as a child herself. 'Why?!', she cried out, falling to her knees and cursing the gods, the heavens, even the very Viera code itself."

Rielle could feel Morrigan tensing and took her hand as a show of comfort. "What happened to them?" 

"It seemed to be Garleans, based on the presence of bullets. Slejsa used materials still left in the fallen warriors' packs to fashion a tether to keep the bodies together, and pulled them all back to the village. She dropped the bodies at the gate, and yelled for the leaders. They came, and many villagers came to see the commotion. 'The Garleans have come too close!' Slejsa cried out, and as some healers came to inspect the bodies, Slejsa turned her rage-filled face to her leaders. 

"'This is your fault!' she yelled, pointing to the leaders, 'You and your fucking barbaric ideals of sending men away from the protection of village for _daring_ to be men!' Something in Slejsa has snapped, and she spent weeks arguing with the leaders at every opportunity. However, they were stubborn in their belief that the Viera code was right, that there was no need to change. Slejsa soon twist her efforts were futile, and so she left the village, knowing full well it meant she could never go back. Like most Viera who leave, she changed her name to signify her new life."

"And she chose Morrigan." Rielle finished. 

"You are a smart one." Morrigan said with a fond smile. 

"But how does that make me braver than you?" Rielle asked, visible confusion on her face.

When I saw something wrong with my homeland, I abandoned it, but you never did that, no matter what they threw at you. You said 'I'm not leaving, you have to deal with it', and I wish I had exhibited that kind of courage in Hoffel." Morrigan explained, before heading to the door of Rielle's inn room. "Now it's time for you to sleep, Khototah's coming tomorrow and wants to take you shopping. Goodnight, Rielle."

Morrigan stepped out of the room, hands balled into tight fists at her side, when she saw Sidurgu standing just outside the door waiting for her.

"You never told me about that." Sidurgu said, almost sounding hurt at it.

"You never asked." Morrigan replied, walking quickly to the room they shared. She was liable to cry from resurfaced grief, and it was bad enough if Sidurgu saw it, no one else was allowed to.

"Neither did she." Sidurgu replied, following her into the room.

She did want to know what I meant, though, and for that, she needed context." Morrigan said, dropping into a chair with her head in her hands. "Doesn't make it any easier to talk about. At least when I tell it like a story, it doesn't feel as personal." She let the tears fall, now that she was facing the floor and not a person. Her shoulders shook, but she tried to keep her crying silent.

Sidurgu wasn't sure what to do. He'd never been great at comfort, but he knew he had to do _something_ for his girlfriend. He crouched down in front of her, taking her hands in his. "It helps us understand you, though. And if someone tries to call you a coward for leaving that shithole, I'll make sure they regret it."

"I appreciate you trying, Sid, but I _was_ cowardly. Because of that, the Viera will never change. Because of that, Arnar, he died before I could tell him that...that I..." She couldn't finish her sentence before, as humiliating as it was for her, she was being wracked by sobs.

Sidurgu couldn't help the flare of jealousy at her love for another, but he quickly stamped it out, mentally scoffing at the ridiculousness of being jealous of a dead man. Normally, Sidurgu was never the one to initiate any affection, but in her vulnerable state, she was unlikely to reach out, and so he slowly, somewhat awkwardly, wrapped his arms around her. At first, she did not move, but once she got over the confusion, she quickly returned the gesture. She clung to him fiercely, not even bothered by the cold, hard metal in her need for comfort. Neither of them spoke, Sidurgu unsure what to say and Morrigan too enthralled in grief she pushed down for years.

They spent the night in each other's comfort. Once Morrigan collected herself, she spent the rest of the night telling Sidurgu stories of her youth, grateful for the comfort.


	4. Inspired Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Persef picks the worst time to go into heat, from the Crystal Exarch's standpoint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got that yearning horny fic lads.

Gods help him. Persef had walked into the Ocular, and G'raha could _smell_ his heat. Thoughts raced in his mind of all the ways he could fuck the man in front of him, all the ways he _wanted_ to. It was unfair enough that his beloved was in front of him without G'raha even being able to show his face, why did that beautiful man have to go into heat now? 

"I'm going to be out of commission for a few days. Please, Exarch, contact Thancred and tell him that I need him specifically, and that I'll be in my room in the Pendants waiting for him." Persef explained, pupils dilated in his extreme desire, barely keeping a whine out of his voice. G'raha felt bad for him, from what he had heard, having a heat sneak up on you like that was often an intense thing. Supposedly, nunhs had less severe ruts sometimes to match their partner's need, but G'raha had no reason to have experienced that. 

"You have my word. Please, rest as long as you need." G'raha replied, and Persef nodded before darting away to where he would have some privacy to endure his heat. G'raha used the simple incantation to contact Thancred through the tower. He was pointedly ignoring how hard he was under his robes, Persef's scent driving his instincts wild. It nearly pained him to call Thancred instead of fucking Persef right there in the Ocular, but to do so would give away his identity, as well as put his plans in jeopardy. "Thancred, our warrior has... an urgent need of you, and he requested I contact you. He is waiting for you in his room in the Pendants, and it looked to me as though it is an urgent request." 

Thancred could be heard stumbling in surprise, before collecting his composure. "I'll get to the Crystarium as soon as I can." He replied, and G'raha was grateful that Thancred seemed to understand the situation. With Thancred no longer able to hear him after the connection was severed, G'raha sighed in frustration. 

Gods help him, all G'raha wanted to do was cast off the disguise and go help Persef exactly as he needed. On the best of days he yearned for the miqo'te, heart aching to touch and be touched. With where that scent was guiding his thoughts, that longing was only amplified, fantasies added to it that G'raha knew he had no right to. The only other time he and Persef had sex, Persef dominated the encounter, tying G'raha's wrists above his head and riding his cock harder than G'raha had ever experienced. Ordinarily, that was the way G'raha preferred it, but something more instinctual made G'raha only want to pin Persef to his desk and fuck him, take him, _claim him--_

The Exarch shook his head to try to clear it. He could _not_ let something at simple as base instincts get in the way of all he'd worked for. He would simply have to ignore the problem while he worked. He already had plenty of paperwork on his desk to sort through, and so he would simply throw himself into that and ignore the ache in his core. Thancred would help Persef through his heat--G'raha pointedly ignored the painful flare of jealousy at the thought--and the Crystal Exarch would carry on his duty. No matter how much he wished it otherwise, he was nothing if not dedicated to his duty. At least Emet-Selch wasn't here to tease him about it, he might just break the tenuous peace held up thus far. 

It took G'raha reading the same proposal three times without digesting the meaning and trying to open a letter with a fish before he finally admitted to himself that he wasn't going to get any work done until he took care of this problem. He stood up from his desk and casually walked up the set of stairs to his bedchambers where he knew he would not be disturbed, quietly locking the door behind him. He let out a sigh as he released the tension in his shoulders, allowing the river of his fantasies to flow freely so that it could pass by. Just the rub of his robe against his neglected cock as he removed it had him letting out a choked gasp, knees buckling a bit. Gods, when was the last time he even satisfied himself like this? While he could not remember, he already knew well that this much raw desire was likely something instinctual set off by the _delectable_ scent of Persef's heat. G'raha laid in his bed, closing his eyes as his mind began to wander. 

_'What would he sound like?'_ G'raha wondered as his hand traced the length of his cock, sending a pleased shiver down his spine. He was a vocal lover when they were together in Mor Dhona, and the thought of his heat only amplifying those noises had him rutting against his hand. As G'raha properly took his cock in his hand, he pictured Persef spread open for him and absolutely _soaked_ , slick covering his gorgeous thighs and _begging_ G'raha to fuck him. G'raha would only be too happy to oblige, naturally, and the thought of plunging into that tight, wet heat had him jerking himself off in earnest, unable to hold back his gasps and whines. 

G'raha's mind wandered further to _tasting_ that wet core, he could only imagine what delectable nectar that would be. His hips jerked up against his hand at the thought of Persef yanking his hair as G'raha sucked that swollen clit, so _desperate_ for release. He doubted Persef would last long in his heat addled state, G'raha's fingers getting a sample of how hard Persef would clamp down on his cock. All G'raha wanted was to drive his beloved mad with pleasure, to drive Thancred out of his mind entirely. G'raha ordinarily did not lend himself to possessiveness, and Persef loved many freely, but something about the scent of that heat made some part of him he never knew was there desire to claim Persef for himself, to be the nunh of Persef's life. Some small part of G'raha felt guilty at getting off to the thought of Persef like this, knowing he could never have him and he could never _deserve_ him, but that was drowned out by sheer desire. 

G'raha could feel that coil in his belly pulling tighter and tighter, the thought of Persef driving him wild. Persef would be so wet and needy and G'raha just wanted to drink up everything he had to give. He couldn't help but imagine the whines and moans as G'raha really teased Persef and made him beg. He would touch him everywhere _except_ where he truly wanted it, making him whine and writhe and beg for G'raha's cock. Maybe G'raha would pretend not to hear him, continuing to tease and tease, until Persef could hardly take it and G'raha would hilt himself in one thrust. Persef would definitely be wet enough for it, his pussy likely clenching down _sinfully_ around his cock. It probably wouldn't take much for the heat-addled man to cum, perhaps he would even cum multiple times around G'raha's cock while he fucked his brains out. 

The thought of Persef cumming around G'raha's cock had him tumbling over the edge, biting down on his fist to muffle his cries as his thrusts lifted his hips off the bed. White hot pleasure shot through his body like levin, eyes unfocused as his mind was completely overtaken with his orgasm. He was covering his chest with his own seed, far more than he expected, but he was far too lost in pleasure to care about the mess. Gods, had it truly been so long since he'd cum, or did Persef's scent really do all that to him? G'raha was certain he had never felt such intensity, or perhaps that it had been forgotten over the centuries. As the last shocks of it coursed through his system, G'raha fell back onto his bed, panting as if he had run a marathon. His limbs felt like jelly, his mind blissfully blank.

As G'raha slowly came back to his senses, he got up to get cleaned up. He retrieved a towel from his washroom, cleaning up the plentiful cum from his chest. As he did so, the guilt began to set in. After all, what right did he have to think of Persef that way? He would never be half the hero Persef was, and he had to hide his identity to even try. If all went according to plan, the Exarch would be a mysterious figure who disappeared after the night was restored, no more, no less. He would die away from anyone who would witness it after saving his beloved hero. Only a select few would even know what he did, and G'raha had made peace with that. This path meant he would never be able to tell Persef just how beloved he was, how much G'raha yearned to cast aside the disguise and the persona and just be with him as he had been in Mor Dhona. He had accepted this, accepted that he would never be worthy of the hero's attention, or even the fantasies he had just given into. 

_'No,'_ He mused to himself as he got dressed, _'I must not deviate from my chosen course, nor can I sit here yearning for what could have been.'_ The Exarch made sure he was presentable for anyone who may come looking for him, and then went back to his office. There was much work to be done, and he could not spend overmuch time on fruitless desire. 


End file.
